What If?
by AnimeAddikt93
Summary: Misaki starts thinking about what it would be like if he did cheat on Usagi
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: I haven't written in forever. It was because I couldn't think of much I did want to write about. I went back and read some Junjou Romantica and was hit by some sudden inspiration! So here goes it. **

Usagi sat on the couch looking throw a million books as usual. He needed some sources for his next big novel. After one turned into a movie life got more hectic. Now I could barely be seen with him. Whenever a reporter asked something of me "I was just getting tutored by him." It was starting to get annoying. Things at our new home had been great though. We had a nice new house in a more secluded town and weren't constantly bothered by people who wanted to drop by.

Still...Usagi hadn't paid much attention to me lately. He barely made it to breakfast in time and would read through dinner. I was beginning to get bored honestly. Usagi had never been a boring person until this whole work load. I put his coffee in front of him and grabbed all the plates that had began to stack up because of the late nights. With a sigh I walked to the kitchen and got started on my house duties for the day.

"Hey Usagi-san..."

"Hmm..." He wasn't even paying attention. I knew just the thing to say though.

"I was just wondering how you would ever react if I cheated on you." That got his attention. He dropped his book and stared at me open mouthed. "What? I was just asking." I turned away not liking what I had gotten myself into as always.

"Misaki why would you ask something like that suddenly?" He reached for a cigarette. For the first time in a long time he didn't have one.

"I was just curious. I never really thought about it. Never seemed like an option, or a choice I would make." I scrubbed away at a perfectly clean dish. I couldn't look at him. "All that being cute would go to waste if I just cheated on you with any bimbo from off the street." I regretted the words once they slipped out my mouth. You see, sometimes I was extra adorable around Usagi because I could tell he liked it. Of course he didn't miss a beat.

"What?" He picked up his book and placed it on the table.

"Oh nothing. Nothing at all."

"Didn't sound like nothing to me Misaki." Crap!

"Just saying it would be stupid to risk our whole relationship that's all. Already hard enough with all those creeps always wanting to know about you. You'd think they'd never heard of google." Ramble. Ramble. Ramble.

Now that I thought of it I never did consider cheating. I mean I found other people attractive, but not once have I ever considered betraying Usagi like that. Maybe if it was the writer of the Kan...no! Not for anyone. That guy was pretty nice though. And not a sexual harasser. But not Usagi either.

"What are you thinking about?" No sense in lying.

"Well if I was to cheat on you they'd have to be a pretty great person. Like the...no one." I went back to scrubbing the nonexistent dirt on the plate.

"Like who?"

"No one. You'd kill them anyway." I put the dishes away. "You might as well get back to work Usagi-san." I traveled around the house cleaning things up and trying to avoid the fact that Usagi was following me.

"Like who?" Grrr.

"Like an actor or something I guess...or a famous Manga writer." Usagi caught on right away.

"That guy!" Again he reached for a cigarette he didn't have.

"What guy?" I played dumb pretty well.

"I don't want you getting ideas. Nevermind." I laughed.

"Usagi I think I'd be stupid to be with anyone else when I have someone they can't possibly measure up to. Now get back to work. I'll go to the store." I walked out before he could grab me. More like sprinted but whatever. That's what I got for being gushy.

I'd just gotten in the store when I spotted Kamijou-demon with that tall guy from the flower shop, Nowaki, and they were holding hands. I grabbed a cart and pushed it toward them. They happened to be in the way. I would get Usagi to eat peppers soon enough. He always tricked me some sort of way, but I'd make him. When the demon spotted me he pulled away from the insanely tall guy. I wish I was tall. It seemed like everyone around me was.

"Hi Professor Kamijou." I grabbed some peppers. "Hi Nowaki."

"Hi Misaki! You haven't gotten flowers in awhile." Nowaki was as cheerful as ever.

"I haven't been able to work much. I'd rather not ask for money either." I examined the peppers and tossed them in my cart. I looked up in time to see Usagi walking over. "Usagi-san what are you doing here?"

"You forgot the money." I checked my pockets only to find out he was right.

"Oh! You're a lifesaver Usagi-san."

His gaze was directed toward the cart. "I hate these." He picked up the peppers and put them back.

"Usagi-san! I have to cook so let me cook what I want!" I reached on my toes to get the peppers, but of course I was too short. "You act like I can't just get more." I walked over to the shelf to pick out new peppers and was lifted off my feet.

"Try and get them now."

"Hey! Stupid! Put me down!" No amount of kicking or punching would work. Apparently I hit like a girl according to Usagi.

"You're making quite a scene." I looked around and found a bunch of people staring. Great. "Oh hey, Hiroki. And...?"

"Nowaki." I mumbled.

"You know him?" Why was he all angry now?

"He works at the flower shop." I was hanging upside down forcibly staring into Kamijou-demon's face.

"Hiroki you always fall for the soft ones."

"Always? since when has this happened!" If I made a scene I had no clue what Kamijou-demon did. I guess summoned the looks of every creature on the planet.

"Better stay away from my boyfriend Hiroki."

"Your?" He looked from me to Usagi. "No!"

"Hehehe. Well you see..." I decided to keep quiet instead. I always got myself into the worst situations by talking when my gut instinct was to shut up. "Can you put me down? I'm getting naseous staring at the ground from this high up." Usagi put me down like I was three years old. I would've yelled at him but my stomach actually did hurt. "I need to sit down." I plopped down in the middle of the aisle with my head between my knees.

"Are you okay?" Nowaki was next to me in a second. He'd be a great doctor.

"Yeah. Haven't good enough sleep lately. Gotta finish my homework still and cook leaves...five hours I think." I was mumbling more to myself than anyone else. Lately I'd been feeling worse and worse no matter how much time I'd cut out of my schedule. Usagi worked more so the loneliness wasn't helping. How did a simple conversation lead me running out of the house and ending up like this? I just had to ask what Usagi might do if I ever cheated.

"Misaki?' Usagi was shaking me a little. I was sure he'd called me a couple times but I couldn't seem to answer.

"Eh?" Was all I could manage. I was tired and lonely. I felt stupid because I couldn't keep up with anything no matter how hard I tried. And no matter how much I smiled I didn't feel better. My face just hurt. "Right shopping." I got to my knees before I was out of breath. "You can shop Usagi-san. I will just stay here for a little."

"Something wrong here?" A familiar voice. Ah. Sumi. Just the thing I needed at this moment in time...


	2. Chapter 2

Sumi was a source of never ending complications. He liked me one day. He liked Usagi the next. He was just trying to get me to make a move the next week. I never knew whether to believe Sumi or not because he always seemed sincere. He was a world class liar. If he was a jerk it'd be one thing, but he was nice. If anyone robbed me and was nice about it I would probably forgive them. I don't know if it was stupidity or my inability to stay mad.

Usagi hated Sumi. That went without saying. Anyone who smiled at me was on Usagi's blacklist. Considering Sumi had almost ruined our relationship a ridiculous amount of times...Usagi probably wanted him banished from the planet. Sumi seemed to be more rational than anyone else here, and for that I was glad. I had no clue what was wrong with me and a clear head was what I need.

"Sumi...I..." This wasn't the time for me not to be able to form sentences. I needed someone that wouldn't freakout. I just needed rest, but Usagi looked like he might tear his hair out, Nowaki seemed like even a warning to the situation wouldn't have affected his panic, and Kamijou-demon actually looked scared. "Just tired."

"Looks like Misaki needs some rest. He seems overworked." Sumi crouched beside me. "I was wondering when it would all catch up with you. Now you are too far gone. Looks like I'm taking you to the hospital kid." Kid? Sumi was taking advantage of the fact I couldn't talk. "I take care of all my friends."

Sumi picked me up. Unlike Usagi he didn't sling me over his shoulder and carry me like a bag of rice everywhere. I didn't exactly enjoy this princess style hold either though.

"Wait! You don't even know any of his information!" Kamijou-demon. "You have to bring Akihiko-san with you."

"Yeah, yeah. There's enough room for him too." Once I was in the cozy backseat I fell asleep. I didn't wake up until a couple days later. I heard a voice of someone I didn't know babbling away. I blinked and looked to the side where a girl a little younger than me sat. She was reading a book to me I guess.

"Oh! Takahashi-san you're awake!" San? That made me sound old. I tried to yank the tubes out of my arms but she stopped me. "Don't! You were suffering from severe sleep deprivation and dehydration!" Did she yell everything? I rubbed my eyes. Wow she was beautiful.

"Sorry." My throat hurt, but otherwise I felt okay. I looked over to see Usagi sitting in the chair opposite me. "Sorry Usagi-san I guess things got out of hand...I didn't mean to cause you trouble." Again.

I just thought a girl was pretty in front of Usagi. I wonder if he noticed. I wonder if he's mad. Oh no! What if he thinks we know each other? Crap! How would I explain that? I just woke up and...why am I even worrying about this? Tons of girls are pretty. Aikawa is pretty. I don't really know any other girls...but there are plenty of pretty ones.

"Don't worry about it Misaki." He patted my hand. I couldn't help but smile when Usagi stopped being such an idiot. He was a great person. The only one who didn't seem to know it was him. Who could think anything good about themselves while living with his family though? I know I wouldn't. I never thought anything good about myself living with Takahiro though...and he was perfectly loving. So maybe that's not what matters.

Mom would know what to say to me right now. I wonder if she would be proud of my life, my decisions. She wouldn't be happy I was in the hospital. I needed to take better care of myself. I needed friends. I worked, cooked, and tried my hardest in school only to be average. I needed someone to cheer me up once in awhile that wasn't Usagi. Maybe that was my problem. Usagi had been away a lot. I'd forgotten to sleep or feed myself. I was usually caring for him.

"I wish I didn't forget things so much. I had so much work to do I barely slept or ate. I wanted to finish all my assignments on time and I guess everything caught up with me." And now he wouldn't want to go anywhere. Once again I was interfering with Usagi's work. "I'll be more careful. I promise."

"Misaki it's okay. I found a solution. When I go away Aikawa and this girl are going to check on you." I turned to face the girl sitting with the book in her lap. The nurse? Or trainee? Great so now I needed someone to watch me...


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: Thanks for all the reviews on my stories they help so much! About my previous stories...I really don't know if I can finish them because I am just not in that zone anymore! If everyone really wants Misaki and Usagi's hardships finished you can all just tell me and I will end it somehow or just drag it out even longer! Anyway I am rabbling so thank you so much! And no Misaki won't be pregnant in any of my stories...anytime soon...at least not by me. Kay thanks. **

So apparently this girl was Usagi's cousin Kaoruko. Usagi had let her babysit me like this because she liked visiting Usagi even though he didn't want her around he wanted me safe. Kaoruko was nice enough. She liked to read and bake. She loved manga and tv. We bonded after awhile. I stopped going to school recently.

Takahiro wasn't speaking to me because of it. Our conversation...well difficult.

"This is Takahiro." I remember freezing.

"It's me. Misaki." I added quickly.

"Oh! Hi Misaki! How's everything going?"

"I'm dropping out of school." It was quiet for a long time.

"Why waste everything Misaki?"

"Because I will never be smart! No matter what I do or what I go through!" On the verge of tears I slammed the phone down. Kaoruko walked in with groceries, but I couldn't stop the tears running down my face. Usagi was behind her. They hadn't realized I was crying yet. Until I started sobbing. Before any of them could come near I ran up to my almost-never-used room and locked myself in. No amount of knocking Usagi did would make me let him in. He finally called Takahiro I guess.

After that I'd been spending more time wrapped in a blanket watching tv. I didn't care about anything anymore honestly. I'd tried not to cause anyone trouble or do anything to hurt anyone. It ate away at me for years. Finally I snapped I guess. I was broken and there wasn't much I could do. The only one who could take that pain away was Usagi, but he was gone so often now it was like I was living alone.

Laying in his bed with my fists knotted in the blanket seemed to be my only hobby. And that was what I was doing now. Staring at the walls. Wasting my time. Waiting. Waiting for Usagi? Waiting for something amazing? Waiting for death? Anything? I didn't know. I didn't want to know. Now that Kaoruko had gone home for the day wherever that was at the moment, I was alone.

It was the one thing I dreaded. I couldn't beg her to stay. I couldn't tell Usagi to leave his work. I needed something or someone though. And just when I was about to tear my hair out in frustration the door shut downstairs and I could hear feet on the steps. Usagi walked in exhausted like he always did. He kicked off his shoes and laid next to me pulling me close to him. Now I could sleep. Just how long until he had to leave again?


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: I had a really short chapter just to show what Misaki is really going through. Someone has got to make him feel better. Who is it though? Oh and to the user ****anypotter**** I can't answer you questions or I will ruin the surprise for you! Thanks for the awesome reviews.**

I woke up alone. Of course. Kaoruko hadn't gotten here yet either. I started breakfast. It was more of a routine now. I made almost the same thing every morning. No one bothered to say anything to me though. The eggs were a bit rubbery, the rice was okay, the orange juice not squeezed anymore and in a carton. That was all I could manage to do whenever I did wake up early enough.

I walked to the table and set down food for myself. I put the rest away for Kaoruko. I found two notes on the table.

I will be a little later than usual today.

Sorry! I'll bring you something special

when I arrive Misaki! xoxoxoxoxoxo

-Kaoruko

Dearest Misaki,

Sorry I haven't been around lately.

There is a lot of work for me to do. I don't want this

anymore than you do. I am still sorry.

-Usagi

I needed to get out of here. I took a shower and got dressed, trying to make myself look halfway decent. I walked out of the house not knowing where I was going or what I was going to do. I was walking past the college before I knew and then even further. Hours had passed since I left, but I still thought I had gotten nowhere. It was dark outside when the rain started.

"Now what are you doing out here on a night like this?" I looked up to see who I'd run into. Haruhiko.

"I'm not sure." I kept my eyes down at the ground.

"Is something wrong? You aren't being a lunatic like when I usually run into you." I didn't have the energy. I don't think he'd seriously hurt me.

"Well you aren't going to hurt me are you?"

"No."

"I guess there is no reason for me to be an idiot than." He moved his umbrella over to cover me. "We can stand under it together." I was already inconveniencing him. Might as well share his umbrella.

A usual red car was browsing the streets. When the headlights shined my way for some reason I hid behind Haruhiko. I should've been happy and ran right over. I was mad. I wanted to kill Usagi if I saw him. I wasn't sure why I felt that way either.

Usagi got out of the car and walked over. "Where's Misaki?" Haruhiko didn't say anything. Usagi looked around until his gaze rested on my feet. "Haruhiko! You dirty-"

"It's not his fault Usagi. I was walking around and bumped into him. He shared his umbrella with me." I peered around Haruhiko at a soaked Usagi. I clenched my hands into fists. He looked fine. Why was I the only one so torn up? "Stupid Usagi-san!" I ran forward and punched him with all my strength. He looked shocked for a minute, but I wouldn't stop. He wrapped his arms around me tight so I couldn't move.

"Let's go Misaki." I was thrown into the back of his car like always. Where I went crazy and threw a fit? I punched and kicked the seats and screamed. Usagi just kept driving and eventually I got tired of yelling. Instead I cried.

"I don't know what's wrong with me." I sniffled. Usagi drove for a little bit more before he pulled the car over. He got and opened my door then slid in the backseat with me. "Usagi?" His lips pressed to mine urgently. "No. Where are you going again?"

"It doesn't matter. I'm here now." Usagi pushed me back on the seat. Normally I would've been okay with this, but my mind was somewhere else. I couldn't always control what my body wanted, but it wasn't the same. Usagi pulled my face up to his. "I love you Misaki." I could feel the words as he said them.

"Usagi. I love you too." I tried to stay in the moment. I knew when I woke up tomorrow he wouldn't be there though. It made it hard for me to be happy.

The next morning I cleaned the condo. It had gotten way out of hand. Kaoruko baked all day and I helped her. I had always enjoyed cooking, but when I didn't have Usagi to cook for it wasn't the same. It was the one thing I was truly pissed about. He wanted to eat every meal together. It was rare if he stayed for even one these days.

I couldn't help thinking back to last night over and over again. It interupted my every thought. And just when I thought I was over it I would be slapped in the face by everything again. Usagi's scent and voice and touch. It was all I could think about. Even when I was mad at him I couldn't help but think about him.

The thing was I was never one to hold grudges until lately. It interfered with everything. When he was home I wanted him to know how mad I was. I walked around being angry and not letting him touch me. All I wanted was him. I felt like I was giving in though. I didn't want him to think this was alright. This type of relationship.

"Hello?" The phone had been ringing awhile.

"Misaki. It's me." Usagi.

"Usagi-san..."

"I won't be home tonight." I felt my hand getting tighter around the phone.

"That's not a surprise anymore." The venom in my voice was shocking even to me. Kaoruko turned from what she was doing to stare.

"Misaki..."

"It's fine. Things are going good for you. I wouldn't want to be the one to ruin. I've been waiting all day though. You were the one who said you would visit my parents graves with me. I'll tell my mom you said Happy Birthday." I slammed the phone down as hard as I could manage.

"Kaoruko. I have to go visit my parents today. You can leave now. I'll come straight home. You don't need to worry about me. Lock up before you leave." I walked out and made my way to the graveyard on foot. I wasn't in the mood for public transportation. I picked some flowers from the ground and placed them next to the nice ones Takahiro must've brought.

The rain started as soon as I sat down. I continued my prayers though. Nothing would interupt my day any further. Not Usagi calling me every two seconds since I left the house. Not my bad mood. Not Takahiro being friggin perfect and buying flowers.

"What!" I yelled as soon as I answered the phone.

"You must be going through a hard time if you are so angry." I recognized the voice. "It's Haruhiko." Him again.

"Haruhiko-san..."


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note: Because of some exciting reviews! (anypotter) I am going to write a whole bunch tonight. I plan on making this story kind of long although sometimes I find the end without even meaning to! Also I only write Junjou Romantica fanfiction but I read and watch so much other things! SO any suggestions? Review and let me know. Thanks! **

I didn't know what to say. It seemed like Haruhiko was popping up more and more lately. Instead of kidnapping me or being a freak it seemed like he was waiting for me to tell him something. Thinking back to all the times I'd met him...I always agreed to follow him. Maybe he wasn't that bad. How nice could someone who locked you in a closet be though?

I still found myself wanting to talk to someone. "What are you doing right now?"

"Are you asking if I'm busy Misaki?"

"Yes." The rain was pounding down now. The ground I was sitting on turned to mud underneath me. My knees sunk deep in. Would my mom and dad be proud of me? I never knew the limits of their understanding. I never would I guess.

"Where are you?"

"The graveyard. I am visiting my parents."

"I'll be there." The line went dead. And now I was wondering if this was a good idea. It was too late to wonder that now. Two nights in the pouring rain was going to make me sick. It wasn't like I would have anywhere to go now.

"You're a mess Misaki." Haruhiko was suddenly there standing over me with an umbrella for the second time this week.

"You're telling me what I already know." I pulled myself to my feet fixing up the flowers surrounding my parents' graves.

"I'm taking you with me somewhere. You can reject me now. Don't try to get out of it later."

"I'd rather be anywhere but here." I slid in Haruhiko's car getting mud everywhere. He didn't say anything. He didn't seem to care actually. I hadn't realized I was holding my breath until I sighed. I wasn't sure what I was doing anymore. I would've never even considered getting in this car because of what happened before.

Back at Haruhiko's hotel room I went straight to the bathroom. Blasting the hot water I got in the shower and let the dirt and stress fall off of me. I sat down and hugged my knees while the water fell on me. How did things become this way? Was Usagi just to old for me? Was I too young to understand? Or was he too busy with his career?

I walked out of the bathroom in a fluffy towel. Haruhiko wasn't there. He'd left me some clothes. On the table he'd written a note explaining about he was going to pick me up something to eat. A glass of cold water was there. I downed it in record time and went to get more. I changed into Haruhiko's too big shirt and sat in the center on the bed.

My phone rang. "Hello?"

"Misaki! Where are you?" It was Usagi.

"Don't worry. I'm safe. I'm staying with a friend." I hung up and curled in a ball. I closed my eyes and tried not to feel anything. The ache in my chest started to dull when I was falling asleep. I was vaguely aware of Haruhiko entering the room. The lights went out and then I could feel him hugging me close. He was warm. Nothing like Usagi...but I didn't hate it either.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: Thanks for reading everyone! I don't really need anything to blab about this time surprisingly. **

Haruhiko was a heavy sleeper. Worse than Usagi if that's even possible. I'd been stuck under his arm for a half hour now. He looked nice in his sleep. A lot more peaceful. He had soft hair too. I finally wiggled my way out of the bed and went to the bathroom. My bladder was going to explode.

I looked at my phone. 45 missed calls. I dialed Usagi's number.

"Hello? Misaki?" I think I made him worry enough.

"Yes. It's me." It annoyed me that it took a situation like this to make him realize how much he was away recently. I fully supported Usagi's decisions. Seeing him twice a week if that? I couldn't deal with that.

"Where are you?"

"I'm not sure. Some hotel. Haruhiko brought me here so I wouldn't catch a cold. I think I'm sick anyway though." I swear Usagi growled.

"Give Haruhiko the phone."

"He's 's worse than you. He wouldn't wake up if there was a tornado. I'll just leave a thank you note and slip out." I wanted to avoid Usagi busting in here and started a fight. "Oh wait. I don't have any clothes. They got all wet."

"Misaki why did you have to go with him of all people?" Why couldn't you just keep our plans? Idiot.

"He called me. I asked him to come because I was sad and didn't think I could make it back home by myself." Usagi was quiet. "I'll figure it out and call you." I hung up on Usagi for what seemed the millionth time. I splashed my face with some cold water.

This was an awkward situation. I didn't want to ask Haruhiko to drive me to Usagi's. He'd already given me somewhere to stay. He was being so nice.

When I walked out of the bathroom Haruhiko was finally awake. He had horrible bedhead and was stretching all over the place. What a weird person. I could never predict what he was going to do. I guess it ran in the family.

I found out quickly that every Usami must have some kind of addiction. Usagi liked cigarettes. Kaoruko liked to bake. Haruhiko liked coffee. A lot. He didn't get hyper or act like an idiot. He just held out his cup for more when he was running low. He drank almost a whole pot by himself.

"Haruhiko-san...you have to take me home." He stopped and looked up at me.

"Why should I? You aren't even happy there." I sighed. That wasn't the point.

"Just do it because I'm asking you. I could always find my own way home, but usually that ends in disaster."

So in Haruhiko's way too big clothes I was driven home. Usagi was waiting outside to walk me inside. I called him and told him the situation. I was about to get out of the car when Haruhiko suddenly turned my face towards his.

"If you are lonely or hurt in anyway call me." Usagi was angrily staring. "Promise me. Now."

"I promise." I opened the door and walked over to Usagi.

"What's going on between you two?"

"Nothing. Maybe he likes rescuing people or something."

"Misaki don't lie to me."

"I'm not! We basically had a slumber party. I wouldn't have been an idiot like that if you actually came through on our plans! Don't promise me things you can't do!" Now I was pissed again.

"I tried to be there."

"I didn't ask you to try. I asked you to show up." I could tell Usagi was mad. He was bad at hiding it. Aikawa was standing there trying to think of a way to break this up. "I don't ask you for much Usagi. I try not to be selfish. I try to stay out of your way. The one day I need you around you should be there. I think that I am as supportive as I can be. Seeing you once or twice a week isn't going to work out for me. And I'd rather not travel all around Japan with you. I think I've been more than understanding. It's your turn to decide what you want to do because I'm the only one trying to make this work."

"We wouldn't be living so comfortably if I didn't work Misaki!"

"You think I care how much we have? It doesn't matter if you aren't there! None of it matters! You can buy me whatever you want to, but I won't be happy because you'll just leave again and I'll be alone. How long do I have to be alone?" I turned away. I'd rather him not see me cry. I went inside. The elevator ride seemed to take forever. I made it up to my room before breaking down.

I locked the door and burrowed under my covers. I guess nothing lasts forever, but I didn't want this to end. I wiped my eyes on the sleeve of Haruhiko's giant shirt.

"Misaki let me in." Couldn't he ever catch a hint. I wanted him to go away. I still walked to the door and unlocked it before getting back in bed. Usagi sat down and pulled me into his lap. Why did I have to cry over him and be comforted by him at the same time?


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: Warning this is the end. Thanks for the lovely reviews.**

Usagi-san had a way of being the best and worst thing for me. I cried everything out and slept next to him and felt better. In the morning he was gone though. All I wanted was his time. Everyone had limited time anyway. No one could live forever, so why wouldn't he spend some time with me? He could say sorry all he wanted, but it wouldn't fix the problem.

I took all the clothes off the line, but stopped in front of what Haruhiko let me borrow. How was I supposed to give it back? I folded them neatly and put them in a bag. I'd have to give this back soon. I couldn't be with Haruhiko but we could still be friends so calling him was okay, right?

I sat on the couch for awhile before calling. "Hello Usami Haruhiko." So formal. "Misaki? Is this you?"

"Yes. I washed those clothes you let me borrow." I felt the overwhelming need to hang up the phone.

"Thank you. I'll come retrieve them immediately." What? They couldn't be that important.

"Wait! Hello?" He hung up. I got dressed quickly and waited. Sure enough the doorbell rang loudly. I answered as slowly as possible. I tried to look relaxed, but ended up failing. Haruhiko stood there looking too uncomfortable. Looking next to him I spotted Usagi-ChiChi! Why! "Here are you clothes Haruhiko-san." I handed them over while barely opening the door. "Thank you for saving me at that time. I count you as one of my friends now."

Haruhiko? A friend? Maybe that's what I felt for him. The sense that he needed someone to count on and so did I. It didn't have to have any passion attached or anything. He was kinder than he looked and seemed to be there for me lately. Thinking about it he hadn't tried to push anything on me. He was usually yelling that he loved me by now.

"Sorry I can't invite you in. You see...I'm sick. Since you guys are important people I wouldn't want you to catch a cold." I still had a fever from the rain. I should be resting, but I couldn't seem to make myself. I still hadn't told Usagi I was sick. All the extra effort to look better made me tired. "Kaoruko should be here soon though...so I won't be alone long."

"Kaoruko..." Haruhiko looked shocked.

"Yeah she comes over here and bakes thing everyday. Well, for the time being. She wanted to visit Japan so Usa-Akihiko-san is paying for her hotel room." Kaoruko showed up right on time.

"Hello everyone." She pushed the door opened and walked right passed me. My sneeze made her stop. She walked back over and put her hand to my head. "Oh no!"

"I'm fine. Just a little dizzy. I'll go lay down." The walk up the stairs seemed like the farthest walk ever. I peeked into Usagi's room. Might as well stay here. I flopped in the bed and closed my eyes after sending a quick text to Usagi. I had to tell him I wouldn't be able to cook dinner because I didn't feel very good.

When I woke up hours later he was next to me. He came home for me. All this time I was starting to believe he didn't care about me at all. "Usagi." I could feel the tears spill over. "I'm sorry. I still like you. I'm sorry I was mean."

"Misaki don't worry about it. All of this was my fault. Some things are important, but not more important than you. I thought you might want more things or a bigger place. You said that it doesn't matter if I'm not here though...and that got me thinking about how much I missed you whenever I was gone. I was just pushed into doing things by Isaka. I forgot about how unhappy you were and how unhappy I was." He wasn't happy either.

I was so worried about my problems I didn't notice. Usagi would never come home and just fall asleep not without torturing me first. So he overworked himself again. I didn't even realized. We need to be more aware of each other. No matter what we would last forever. I can't believe I ever wondered what it'd be like to be with someone else.


End file.
